Volume 15
Support the families of Oscar Corona, Dayana Bustillos Herrera, and Zackery Noel Nazario; A message from the In-between liminal deathy spaces; poetic offerings; how the solar system spins
ACTION ITEMS
On February 27, Oscar Corona was murdered while in a vehicle with three friends (all uninjured). A recent high school graduate and self-taught barber, Oscar’s family is grieving the future he will never know. On their gofundme, his family remembers him for the things that brought him life: “He enjoyed cutting hair, listening to music, skating and helped his parents watch his smaller siblings. He spent his days being around his family and friends and always lending a helping hand.”
SUPPORT OSCAR CORONA’S FAMILY HERE.
After battling cancer for almost three years, Dayana Bustillos Herrera died in February. Dayana was a mother to four children, ranging in age from 6-18. She is remembered as “incredible mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend” who “remained strong and fought until the very end.” Our hearts go out to her family learning to navigate the world without this touchstone of strength. The gofundme created by a friend to support her family states that “Any money raised will go directly to the family to assist with services and to cover additional expenses during this difficult time for this beautiful young family.”
SUPPORT DAYANA BUSTILLOS HERRERA’S FAMILY HERE.
On February 20, 15-year-old Zackery Noel Nazario tragically died while subway surfing across the Williamsburg bridge. His mother remembers him as “A smart young man who was my hero. An old soul for his age.” This fund was brought to our attention by a friend of the digest who saw Zackery in the hours before his death and was struck by how full of life he was in their momentary interaction.
SUPPORT ZACKERY NOEL NAZARIO’S FAMILY HERE.
(This fund has been fully funded, however there is no monetary value for life or grief and any additional contributions are welcome)
FUNDS STILL SEEKING SUPPORT FROM PREVIOUS VOLUMES:
ANDREW STANDIFIRD’S FAMILY IS STILL SEEKING SUPPORT
TYRE NICHOL’S FAMILY IS STILL SEEKING SUPPORT
TIABI RAUF’S FAMILY IS STILL SEEKING SUPPORT
BRANDON’S MOTHER IS STILL SEEKING SUPPORT
LINDY CHRISTOPHER’S FAMILY IS STILL SEEKING SUPPORT
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
On the Liminal In-Between spaces of Travel and Deathwork
by Resham Mantri
I have recently returned from a trip abroad to Mumbai with family to see other family and to put it mildly, it was full. I came back to Brooklyn two days ago and I’m very much in what I consider an in-between space. It’s not quite jetlag. It sometimes feels like the particular malaise and sheer weight of holding the distance between two worlds I love deeply. Two worlds which, at times, feel just out of my grasp and utterly inconceivable to the other.
I’m realizing I like these in-between spaces. They feel like being a first-generation Indian of the diaspora. They feel like being awake reading or writing in the middle of the night. They feel like an extended pause from the everydayness of our lives. They can sometimes feel like a depressive episode or a dream. These spaces also remind me of what it feels like to witness a person in your life who is dying.
Clients I have worked with as well as colleagues and I have spoken at length about what it feels like to be in this space. To exist in the in-between. So I know it is not just me. Part of my work as a death doula is to affirm however they are feeling about the In-between. To gently encourage existing fully in that space. To know that life is still valid and real in that space. As death doulas, we can gently hold and make space for dreaming and/or creative visioning in the in-between for those who are interested in that side of deathwork.
Life in the in-between for people who are preparing for a death, whether it is their own or someone else’s, can feel contradictory. Things can both seem suspended or unreal as well as infinitely possible1. That, to me, is part of the specific medicine of this liminal space. It can feel like unrestrained aliveness, which can be intense at times.
I leave you with the following images from my trip which were other moments of suspended in-between. Sending deep care wherever you are.
If you feel moved to share about your own experience of the in-between, we would love to know.
Other ways you can help us grow our work. Thank you.
OFFERINGS WE LOVE
A collection of poems is our offering to you this digest. We hope they nourish you.
Alice Walker, “Coming Back from Seeing Your People.”
Zeina Hashem Beck
“Morning Prayer” Sour, Lebanon, August 2018
Thank you god of coriander & spicy potato Thank you peeling wooden rails Thank you god of sea foam Thank you red buoy bobbing on the water surface Thank you rock island in the distance Thank you statue of Our Lady of the Seas Thank you harbor Thank you sumac on the tomato placenta Thank you blackberry jam on the peach flesh Thank you fumes of the motorbikes Thank you sombrero on the public beach Thank you newborn baby in the balcony of your mother's arms Thank you fat man with the big cross tanning on the plastic chair Thank you drenched clothes of the clotheslines Thank you flip-flop girl shouting curses in the alley Thank you Mary of the small glass shrine Thank you seagulls Thank you horizon you are the goddest Thank you cigarette butts Thank you broken ship wheel on the seaweed stairs Thank you full-lipped cashier Thank you god of silicon & hyaluronic acid Thank you god of the sun Thank you god of the bedsheets Thank you supermarket doorway grandma with the braided hair Thank you girl behind the phone camera searching for the god angle of your friend's face Thank you hairs of my husband's beard Thank you dough of my hips Thank you old flag in the wind I hello you too Thank you songs of the colors on the walls on the doors on the shutters Thank you waves with your ceaseless sh sh Thank you stones of the fortress What have you seen what have you seen Little boat little boat goodbye Little world little world I love you
Shailja Patel, Migritude
FIRST DATES IN UTOPIA
In this room, for one hour lets be easy in our skins observe ourselves with gentle curiosity proffer and accept selected morsels of our lives Lets regard each other with eyes that smile with faces that engage, savor without urgency the strangeness of being human.
SIMPLE PLEASURES
bonus: how bodily functions work in space
I am reminded of the work of Oceana Sawyer in exploring the sensuality and possibility of the liminal spaces.